Wednesday, 4 December 2013

9 yards in a budget.

I was reading an article  that talks about big fat Indian weddings and if we really need them! I tend to concur with the author. To me, a wedding is private; sacred; the whole world need not be a witness.

When I get married, it will be a private moment with immediate family and a few friends. I was discussing this with my BFF and she promptly budgeted the whole thing and emailed an excel sheet. I was amused and touched at the same time.One might argue that a budget wedding would perhaps best be at the registrar's office. But I certainly wouldn't want to go to that extreme either.

I want to go the whole 9 yards (literally) in a budget. That's perhaps the best thing about a tambrahm wedding for me - 9 yards of shimmering kanjeevaram silk draped elegantly (what we call the madisar) and no woman has ever looked any sexier. Sitting on her dad's lap, eyes and head cast down, not just because she's the demure bride but also because it's easy for the groom to tie the mangalsutra around her neck, is a picture perfect wedding moment. I can compromise on all the other rituals but this one thing is what makes it for me. *sniff sniff*. The smile on her quivering lips, the droplets of tears that threaten to spill over her kohl lined eyes, the blush, the confidence, the emotional drama & overwhelming happiness is what makes a wedding rich. I almost have it planned; it's all in my head like a movie! The mehendi, the early morning, the "sarrk sarrk" of the silk sarees, golusu, metti, flowers, the percussion and other instruments, the vedic chants, the agni - it's all there. More importantly, the tears of happiness.

Oh, sorry I digressed; just got too carried away ;-) So, decades ago, the wedding was a 5 day event, with lots of little events strewn through the days, partly because the bride and groom weren't more than 10 years old. They needed the distraction. That's precisely why the "nalangu" function was invented. There were people to help out in the kitchen, huge houses for people to stay and revel in the moment. The kattu sadha koodai was in place because the families travel on bullock carts / foot and and they need the food for the duration of the journey.

I'd rather spend the money on annadhanam in a temple or a children's home or old age home rather than a lavish spread for a million guests at my wedding. I'd spend the money on paying a few of my EMIs than spending on 3 days of wedding hall rent and other trivial matters. And I'd rather spend the money on a honeymoon rather than spending it on gold. (Now that's a thought)

A wedding is about the tradition, not the pomp and show. It's about two people bonding for life, entering a stage of trust and love, till death do them part. And that's how I'd prefer it remains.

Bottomline: A simple wedding and a grand marriage.

Image courtesy: RMKV (www.rmkv.com)



13 comments:

  1. Deepa ji koi khush khabri??? All the very best :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bring on the getti melam i say!!

    Couldnt agree more on expenses but for me a simple registrar /arya samaj wedding, a fun party for friends isthe ideal wedding. I dont want the whole 9yards :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aaroo - After listening to maangalyam thandhunaane from alaiyaayudhey, been orray wanting that onleee D

      Delete
  3. I agree...I prefer a simple half day wedding with all the rituals...Vratham, Nischyadhartham, Nalangu and even the reception can be skipped. I would just have a party for close friends instead of a reception...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Reception and all samma boring. Standing for hours together for no bleddy reason. All the fake smiles.. shabba.... Only vratham and muhurtham. porum. :)

      Delete
  4. We discussed this once, didn't we? :D Neat :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi-Fi for this.. this is what I exactly had in mind always! Relieved to know someone actually thinks in the same lines :) :)


    I'd rather spend the money on annadhanam in a temple or a children's home or old age home rather than a lavish spread for a million guests at my wedding. I'd spend the money on paying a few of my EMIs than spending on 3 days of wedding hall rent and other trivial matters. And I'd rather spend the money on a honeymoon rather than spending it on gold. (Now that's a thought)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mytri - Yes ma'am. Too much selvu. For my sister's wedding we blew up lakhs and yet there were people who complained. Naansans I say!

      Delete
  6. I agree on the sexy madisar part! At the same time has an elegance if you know to carry it :) Always felt all women looked good in madisar :) - Jenz

    ReplyDelete
  7. Totally !! And wishing you the best, very soon. oh, and yes, women look their best in madisar

    ReplyDelete

Travel along and let me know what you think :)